4/15/10

Fiber Baby

Right now I have taco baby. That's right. It's not a human fetus, no no no. Its a love child of another kind. One made of corn tortilla, grade something beef, cheese, lettuce and tomato. Glory of glory.

Don't get it twisted though, food babies are not all pleasant. Most are uncomfortable. They shorten your lung span, and most kick back. Hard. Like watching Avitar in 3D, these babies can also make you nauseous. The best way to avoid unwanted food babies is to abstain from stuffing yourself. No other method other than this is 100% affective.

As I am so obviously on the cusp of non-fetus baby research, I must tell you that there has been a new species spotted. This species similarly wreaks havoc on the body, but there is no glory to be had in the art of consumption. Much like getting pregnant from a toilet seat.

I have named this, the fiber baby.

No joke- I ate ONE fiber bar and I walked around the rest of the day with a waddle and my hand on the small of my back. I have never been so bloated in my life.

So take this warning- if it has more than 8 grams of fiber and is no bigger than an egg, don't do it. Its just not worth it.

2 comments:

  1. Ha, ha, ha, ha! A new species of demon brick, huh? So sorry for your "condition!" :)

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  2. hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahah omg i love you

    ReplyDelete