Robin and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

Does any one remember the book "Alexander and the Terrible Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"?

Well, this week was Robin's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.

It all started out so promising! I finished a long run and went to get a massage. What could be so terrible about that? Oh nothing except for the next following days collectively made me consider defenestrating myself.

The massage was great while it lasted, but after my massage I started to get sore. I believe I mentioned something about that in the last post. Well it got worse. I was sore, I was cramping, I was moody and a little hungry. I know that it has nothing to do with be dehydrated because I am very diligent about drinking water. Lauren and I have competitions to see who can drink the most water. In fact, the majority of my calorie burn a day comes from going to the bathroom and the subsequent bathroom activities. Regardless, I have spent all week speculating why this is. It has gotten me no where.

On Monday I thought surely it must be some sort of vitamin deficiency that was kicking my tail. Not the fact that I am a lady of size trying to run distances this body has never seen. No, no, that couldn't be it! So to beat this so called vitamin shortage, I started taking a woman's one a day. I had an early morning meeting so I brought some oatmeal with me to work to make afterward. This was a FAILURE as I was somehow able to bring the oatmeal to a roaring boil in a microwave that refuses to warm my coffee or my lean cuisine pizza all the way through! The bowl of oatmeal was less than 1/4 full after it had spilled its contents in the microwave. I was the forced to clean it up there by forced to touch other people's food particles. There is little on this earth that I hate more than touching old food particles. Especially because I know whose old marinara and meat sauce it is in there. And I know that I cant say anything to him. He scares me. But if I could I would also tell him that making decaff at 7:30 in the morning is not funny.

ANY WAY... so I ate my 1/4 a serving of oatmeal and popped my vitamin thinking that perhaps I would just run with the low cal breakfast with a smile. Whelp, there was not much smiling when about thirty minutes later when I was running through cube-land to the bathroom. The only thing worse than puking is puking at work.

Here's why:

You know those people who hide out in stalls waiting for everyone to leave so that they can drop the kids off? The stall stalkers? The loo lurkers? Well, when you are hovered over the toilet for multiple minutes and people don't know you are there, you hear some stuff. Really horrible stuff. Enough to make you sick.

Regardless, I had to leave work and take a nap until I felt better. Then I had to stay at work until 6:30 that night to make up the time. Needless to say I did not get my run in that night, but the next night was 8 miles. I figured with some rest and relaxation from the night before, I would be up to it. You see, since my massage I had been wearing shoes that served more of an orthopedic function than they did fashion, figuring that this might be a good way to make my legs less sore. I also thought that icing at work would help too. It was more of a nuisance when the bag popped and spilled ice cold water all over my jeans. It was also a conversations starter.

The icing nor the peasant shoes helped the situation of the dreaded right mile stroll. When the third mile of the run came around I felt as though my tibia and fibula were being flossed with electrified barbed wire. I tried pushing through the pain but it was to no avail.

I have been having this pain in my legs all week and it is only now subsiding. I am not sure what I did to my massage therapist, but I am paying for it!

Want to hear the last bad thing that happened this week? BESIDES the Canadians winning the gold in Men's hockey? Don't get me started on Canada... it gets ugly.

Any way, the last bad/sad thing was that I was going to have to run a Valentines Day couples race alone. It was supposed to be the weekend before VDay but they had to reschedule due to the weather. So when it was rescheduled my sister/partner could not do it! So I contacted the race people to see if I could possibly run alone, and they said that they prefer I run with a partner since its a couples race. Thanks. That makes me feel like even less of a loser. So after asking co workers, siblings and friends I just opted out of the whole freaking farce of a race. Jerks. I bet the tee shirt was crappy any way!

Ooh I forgot one more bad thing! And perhaps the most egregious. I was given a bagel from bodos that was cream cheese instead of chicken salad. I adore chicken salad. Look at me. But I HATE cream cheese. Its a good thing I had a co-worker who was hungry and likes devil's puss, I mean cream cheese.

SO... here's hoping that this next week does not resemble any other childhood books titles. Except maybe "Oh the Places You'll Go", or "Robin's Husband get a New Job and She Gets a Proper Massage". That one is a classic and the illustrations are dynamite.


Ten Miler Tribulations: Part 2

After officially getting out of the snow and stitches Lauren and I are back with a vengeance. In fact, we ran/completed 9 miles on Sunday! I must say that I have not been this sore in a while. In fact, the last time I was this sore I was trying out for lacrosse in high school. It's the kind of sore where you lower yourself halfway down to the toilet, then release praying the rest of the way down that:
a) the plopping sound your bare butt makes will not permanently scar some freshman/co-worker too much
b) you don't miss.

9 miles! That's only one mile less than the insane race we signed up for that sparked the majority of this blog! Now I know that I can do it. I did not die doing 9 miles, therefor I can do one more. Well, this weekend I could have done one more mile. Last weekend was a different story all together.

I was at my in-laws house and luckly they have a treadmill in front of TV. I promised myself on the trip down that I would give the 9 miles I was due a try. All the while I was thinking (quietly to myself so my other personalities did not hear) "4 miles is just as good as 9 miles, right? Make the lines a little curvier and you have a 9." No? Anyone? Jerks.

I told my in laws immediately what I had planned so they could hold me to it. And that they did! I ended up completing the mileage but it was NOT pretty. My body was just not having it, not for one second. My legs felt like there were sticky finger, ankle biting kids around them. My lungs you ask? Oh I would liken that feeling to wearing a laced up corset. A corset made for Scarlett O'Hara.

I FINALLY finished the 9 miles in the time it would take my grandmother to understand and appreciate the purpose of twitter. I am not kidding when I say it took forever! I am sure you are thinking... "well my goodness! By now, she has been training for five months. She writes ALL the time about her running triumphs, surely it was not that bad."

HA! Just ask my father-in-law. Why you ask?

Allow me to set the scene:

Sitting at the dinner table after my run, I was trying to stay on the conversational side of consciousness. At some point during the meal someone, somewhere said something about my run, to which my lovely father-in-law asked, "Oh, so you did run part of it? I thought you walked it all."

I was about to cry, laugh, and slip out of my chair under the table, all at the same time when I decided to take the less dramatic route. I said nothing to my father-in-law but rather looked at my husband and with my eyes bulging out of their fat laden eyelids I mouthed, "DID I RUN?!??!?!?!?!?"

At least this week it would be hard for him to deny that I ran 'part' of it. I finished in under 2 hours. And if you follow my blog (pretend to follow my blog... just for a minute? Thank you) you may remember that is well below 2:39:35. WOOT WOOT!

So... to end the blog, I will leave you with a bit of exciting news!

I am officially signed up for..............


Uh... double up uh uh! [rap reference, Mom]


Joshua. Oh Joshua.

If you need an introduction to my nephew Joshua, I suppose blog #2 would be a good place to start. Or you can simply feast your eyes on the pictures that I took of him over the weekend. I mean SERIOUSLY. This kid puts Gerber to shame. Duncan (the other nephew not pictured here) and Joshua are going to be dualing it out 'Zoolander' style in a couple of years, or as soon as Duncan starts to walk. Which will be in two weeks according to my calculations and the fact that he is already teething, and going to school for his masters degree.

Ok... so without further delay a sneak peak (because I am falling asleep in front of the computer) of Joshua!Yes, those are carhartt overalls.

Just like Joshua... just chilling out.

The antique fire truck was found in Joshua's great-grandmother's attic! How perfect!

The rest of us were freezing, but Joshua was having a BALL!

I love my sister in law but sometimes she is so photogenic I want to... take more pictures. :)

Alright, I must go to bed... but I can't stop!!!! So I'll end with Uncle Rico. I mean Joshua's dad.

Goodnight all!


Motivation Tips

    Since the run I did tonight was not as far as it should have been, I decided to look up some motivational tips. Here is what I found online. In black are the real tips, below them in red are my thoughts. Enjoy.

    Motivation Tips

  1. Sign up for a race as soon as you feel up to it. Don't sign up for a race because your sister says so, because you are bored, or because in your wine haze it sounds like fun. Want to know the real reason I wanted to do my first race? Besides the tee shirt and the bumper sticker, it was because I wanted to go through the water station. Judge me. I don't care.
  2. Find a committed running partner. It is much harder to skip a run when you have someone else depending on you. Especially when your partner appears to run on some sort of alternative energy source.
  3. Remember that you will have plateaus in your progress and tough days along the way. Tough days? Like when you cover up the part on the treadmill that tells you how far you have gone because you think it will help you to run further if you are not staring at it the whole time? Then you uncover the distance-o-meter, whispering "come ooooon, at least 2 miles, at least 2 miles!" and read: 0.70? Next you drop to your knees on the still spinning treadmill, get thrown off of the back into an elliptical, all while hysterically screaming "its not worth it!!!!!". You mean tough days like that?
  4. It gets easier. Pray that.
  5. Accept and appreciate the fact that not every single run can be a good one. Accepted. Thanks.
  6. Be prepared to remove the words “can’t” and “never” from your vocabulary. Replace those words with "oh dear goodness" and "the race is ___ days away"
  7. Do not compare yourself to others. Run within yourself and for yourself first. That's actually really good advice.
  8. Don’t expect every run to be better than the last one; some of them will hurt. Like the run I did tonight where my big toe nail (although cut very short) seemed to hook on the top of my shoe for all three miles making it now a deep purple? Hot.
  9. Don’t think too much about it or you won’t do it. So true. Just keep your bag in your car, and keep driving to the gym. You'll get it done when you get there. Or you will walk in, realize you left your shoes at home and walk out. Its cool.
  10. Even a bad run is better then no run at all. Hahaha, sometimes I disagree. :)
  11. If you normally run with music try skipping it and listening to your feet to hear your pace and your gait. I tried this. Not because I was being creative or trying to challenge myself but because I am forgetful. I ended up wogging 8 miles without music. BAM! The fact that I had the promise of Jimmy Johns and the movie Ms. Congeniality didn't hurt either.
  12. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t experience weight loss immediately. No comment. Mostly because my hands are full stroking both my chins.
  13. Start a running blog and read other running blogs regularly. Oh, oh! Here's an idea! Read my blog!
  14. Running is not an excuse to triple your intake of doughnuts because runners gain weight too. Lies.



Bad Blogger

Ok, so my sister keeps telling me that I am a bad blogger for not posting in a while. Maybe its because none of you repsonded to my question about what Lauren and I should put on our tee shirts for the Valentines Day 5k. I wish I felt like you were being adequately punished...

More than any thing it is because I was away on my 1 year anniversary trip with the husband-face. So to hold you over, here is a picture of said husband face and my attempt to perfect sun flair. Oh and a list of things I should be blogging about.

Things I should be blogging about but am not because I want to watch Gilmore Girls and fall asleep early to wake up early and use our new exercise bike:

1. The really annoying lady at the gym that uses the stair master wrong
2. The fact that I am running 9 miles this weekend
3. Dan and Colleen's wedding pictures... almost done!
4. The crazy snow that is coming
5. My stitches. They really itch.
6. The trip to Annapolis
7. American Idol and all its retched glory
8. The tall tale of trying to steal the remote at the gym only to be thwarted by the workers. Not what you think...
9. MY NEW NIECE/NEPHEW!!! Coming to a White near you, August 2010!!
10. Vomit tacos