Robin and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

Does any one remember the book "Alexander and the Terrible Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"?

Well, this week was Robin's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.

It all started out so promising! I finished a long run and went to get a massage. What could be so terrible about that? Oh nothing except for the next following days collectively made me consider defenestrating myself.

The massage was great while it lasted, but after my massage I started to get sore. I believe I mentioned something about that in the last post. Well it got worse. I was sore, I was cramping, I was moody and a little hungry. I know that it has nothing to do with be dehydrated because I am very diligent about drinking water. Lauren and I have competitions to see who can drink the most water. In fact, the majority of my calorie burn a day comes from going to the bathroom and the subsequent bathroom activities. Regardless, I have spent all week speculating why this is. It has gotten me no where.

On Monday I thought surely it must be some sort of vitamin deficiency that was kicking my tail. Not the fact that I am a lady of size trying to run distances this body has never seen. No, no, that couldn't be it! So to beat this so called vitamin shortage, I started taking a woman's one a day. I had an early morning meeting so I brought some oatmeal with me to work to make afterward. This was a FAILURE as I was somehow able to bring the oatmeal to a roaring boil in a microwave that refuses to warm my coffee or my lean cuisine pizza all the way through! The bowl of oatmeal was less than 1/4 full after it had spilled its contents in the microwave. I was the forced to clean it up there by forced to touch other people's food particles. There is little on this earth that I hate more than touching old food particles. Especially because I know whose old marinara and meat sauce it is in there. And I know that I cant say anything to him. He scares me. But if I could I would also tell him that making decaff at 7:30 in the morning is not funny.

ANY WAY... so I ate my 1/4 a serving of oatmeal and popped my vitamin thinking that perhaps I would just run with the low cal breakfast with a smile. Whelp, there was not much smiling when about thirty minutes later when I was running through cube-land to the bathroom. The only thing worse than puking is puking at work.

Here's why:

You know those people who hide out in stalls waiting for everyone to leave so that they can drop the kids off? The stall stalkers? The loo lurkers? Well, when you are hovered over the toilet for multiple minutes and people don't know you are there, you hear some stuff. Really horrible stuff. Enough to make you sick.

Regardless, I had to leave work and take a nap until I felt better. Then I had to stay at work until 6:30 that night to make up the time. Needless to say I did not get my run in that night, but the next night was 8 miles. I figured with some rest and relaxation from the night before, I would be up to it. You see, since my massage I had been wearing shoes that served more of an orthopedic function than they did fashion, figuring that this might be a good way to make my legs less sore. I also thought that icing at work would help too. It was more of a nuisance when the bag popped and spilled ice cold water all over my jeans. It was also a conversations starter.

The icing nor the peasant shoes helped the situation of the dreaded right mile stroll. When the third mile of the run came around I felt as though my tibia and fibula were being flossed with electrified barbed wire. I tried pushing through the pain but it was to no avail.

I have been having this pain in my legs all week and it is only now subsiding. I am not sure what I did to my massage therapist, but I am paying for it!

Want to hear the last bad thing that happened this week? BESIDES the Canadians winning the gold in Men's hockey? Don't get me started on Canada... it gets ugly.

Any way, the last bad/sad thing was that I was going to have to run a Valentines Day couples race alone. It was supposed to be the weekend before VDay but they had to reschedule due to the weather. So when it was rescheduled my sister/partner could not do it! So I contacted the race people to see if I could possibly run alone, and they said that they prefer I run with a partner since its a couples race. Thanks. That makes me feel like even less of a loser. So after asking co workers, siblings and friends I just opted out of the whole freaking farce of a race. Jerks. I bet the tee shirt was crappy any way!

Ooh I forgot one more bad thing! And perhaps the most egregious. I was given a bagel from bodos that was cream cheese instead of chicken salad. I adore chicken salad. Look at me. But I HATE cream cheese. Its a good thing I had a co-worker who was hungry and likes devil's puss, I mean cream cheese.

SO... here's hoping that this next week does not resemble any other childhood books titles. Except maybe "Oh the Places You'll Go", or "Robin's Husband get a New Job and She Gets a Proper Massage". That one is a classic and the illustrations are dynamite.


  1. your blogs make me giggle outloud. they are hilarious and you should publish them. scratch that--don't publish unless you want to remember these horrendous stories. anyway, they are funny :) hope your tibia and fibula have recovered.

  2. Little one - I didn't know things were so bad last week! The barbed wire reference was great...I can't stop thinking about it and now I'M getting nauseated...you are a graphic blogger and that's good, I think :) I'm in to the title thing - I pick "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" for my week. Love you!

  3. hahahaha BEANO i love this :) you haven't changed a BIT :)